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I may cause some people to be angry with me about this one but it’s a conversation that needs to be had. Motherhood is hard as heck. It’s challenging, difficult, demanding, and more. But more than any of those things, it’s rewarding as heck! There is nothing I would trade it for, even on my hardest days. We live in a world that makes it okay to complain about the things we signed up for, the blessings in our lives, the things that other people would pray to have. Our children. When I look back, my husband and I spoke over so much of what and who our kids would become, the personalities they’d have, the relationship with Jesus they’d grow to love and value, and the respect they will give and demand from others. Some of the things we spoke over them are coming out a little stronger than others like the strong girl who doesn’t back down (even when it comes to mom and dad), or the little boys who use their voices (but very loudly). We are helping them craft these unique personalities into who they will become as adults, so for now we will take the imperfect and help them to improve. We prayed and spoke for these blessings, to raise and nurture them, to help turn them into the best humans we possibly can, to lift them up and be the example for them. Why on earth would I complain about being given that role from my creator?!
Are there days that I scream into a pillow at the top of my lungs to release the tension, frustration, and feelings of false failure? Of course! About every 11 days! I understand we all need to vent. But there are proper channels for venting and I’m excited to talk more about them! But first… Can we be a generation of mothers who don’t make our kids believe they are a burden to us or anyone else?! It’s hard enough in this crazy world they are growing up in! Before I get too in depth, let’s jump into some ways you can manage your stress, and make sure that your kid feels appreciated in your life as much as you feel appreciated to be in theirs.
4 Steps to Establish a Positive Attitude About Motherhood
- Talk to someone
- Whether this is a therapist or just a friend, get it out. If you need to dig a bit deeper on ways to be the parent your child needs, therapy may be a good call! Some women have past trauma that they need to work through and that’s okay! We just need to recognize it and work on it.
2. Improve your words
- Work on the way you talk about motherhood, especially in front of your kids. It is a gift, a blessing, and an honor to raise up the next generation. Be sure to speak on that whether in affirmations or the way you speak about it to friends.
- Give your kids positive words of affirmations. Let them know they are worthy, loved, valued, heard, and everything they are. Have your kiddo say these words with you too! They need to learn positive self-talk.
3. Know your limits
- Be able to tell when you need a break and get a sitter for an hour or two! Some much-needed alone time are key for filling yourself back up!
- When I feel like I’m about to burst or like I have raised my voice or used an unkind tone with my little ones, I always ask my husband for time to myself. I know that is a signal that things could get much worse if I don’t take a break.
4. Create a gratitude journal
- A way I am able to stay in a constant state of gratitude is by keeping it in front of me at all times. I do this by writing something I’m grateful for in my planner. There is a gratitude section built into each day on it so it makes it easy!
- You can create a gratitude journal in your phone or in a regular notebook. The key is to express gratitude even for the smallest things
It can seem like a daunting task to change your thought process in this area but it will be worth it in the end! We are raising a generation of world changers and to do so, we have to be willing to first make some changes ourselves. Our upbringing, what we are used to, and “it’s too late to change” are no longer excuses. It’s time to appreciate the difficult days, and use them as moments to learn about ourselves and our children. When your kiddo is having a hard time, they are simply having a hard time, not giving YOU a hard time. So comfort them with your words and a hug if they need/want it. Then pat yourself on the back and don’t complain about how it stressed you out later. If we learn how to cope with it in the moment, how much more will you believe that you can handle other stressful moments in life? Let’s get mentally strong together! Please share your tips and ideas below in the comments section! As always, respect is a must in this community so let’s keep it clean and kind!
Together, we rise!
