It’s September 2020, and I’m finding myself lost in all things baby, neglecting my husband because in my head, I’ve got enough going on to try and keep myself and my child alive. I’m heading towards the final 4 weeks of my recovery from an emergency c-section and I have no clue what I’m doing as a mother. I find myself wondering who I am as an individual. I’m pretty sure every mom has been here before. No one prepares you for this! You’re given a ton of instructions on how to care for the baby and your physical wounds and hopefully you’re fast enough to write it all down but nothing involves warnings of what happens to you as a mom trying to figure it all out.
Over the next year and a half, I’m finding myself again in fitness, creating time for my husband and I to date each other, and feeling “normal” again. GREAT! I’m back and I’m betta, right?! Until May 2022 I’m hit with an extreme wave of nausea and other pregnancy symptoms at only 2 weeks pregnant. In my head I’m thinking, “must be a boy!” not “must be twins!”. Sure enough, I’m pregnant with twin boys and honestly, not too surprised given my family history but it was still a lot to process. My body’s going through the changes twice as much as a singleton pregnancy and I feel myself getting lost in the “baby realm” again. Only this time I’m prepared with a mission to find myself again a few months into postpartum.
My Mission
It’s nearing New Years and I’m feeling the unpleasant topic of goal setting and resolutions creeping up. I have a love-hate relationship with goal setting and resolutions. It sounds silly, I know. But for me, giving my goals a new name and meaning helped me fight for them and stay consistent. So I called them my missions. A mission is assigned to you and the job must be completed, right? It worked for me so maybe it will work for you! My main mission this year wasn’t related to fitness or diet like previous years. It was to find myself again. I had no clue where to start. If you are in a place of finding yourself again in the midst of motherhood and being a wife, among other things, I hope this is a good starting place for you.
Where the heck do I start?!
1. The Obvious One – Set aside time for yourself!
- THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! If you are a SAHM, a remote-work momma with kids at home, or working mom (allllllll the mommas!!) you need this for yourself, your kids, and your partner. Please know that self-care is not selfish.
2. Find out what interests you!
- I started by writing a list of things I had interest in and what I could do with them on my own time.
3. Figure out how much time you’re willing or able to put into a new interest/hobby.
- Do you have kids and a husband that need your time like I do? Determine what time of day you have at your disposal.
4. What’s your budget?
- A big thing I had to determine was how much my new hobby would cost me. Some may not cost anything at all.
5. Narrow your list down and find out what truly speaks to you
- It took me a few weeks to find out what that was. I tried a few things that didn’t cost anything for a little while to see what made me feel the most like myself again. For me, it had to be something that gave me a sense of purpose. For you, it could be something that just makes you feel good about yourself and that’s perfectly fine!
6. Dive in!
- I didn’t waste any time jumping into what would make me feel like myself again. If it makes you happy, go for it with no regrets.
Additional Tips
Let go of the guilt!
Mom guilt is real but do not let it consume you. To be able to fill up everyone else, you have to be full yourself. Being full also means being fulfilled and the best version of you.
Don’t be afraid to try new things!
I had never written a blog in my life and I still don’t know entirely what I’m doing but I committed to jumping in because I knew it gave me an outlet and it gave me purpose. It may not be something your familiar with and that’s okay! Which brings me to my last tip…
Use your resources!
The internet. We have everything we need at the tip of our fingers nowadays! You don’t even need fingers to search nowadays because Siri and Alexa got us covered with voice command! Use them. YouTube, Google, Pinterest, Blogs (your favorite mom blog – Moldedinmotherhood.com), Instagram, etc.. There are so many resources and if you have no clue where to start, ask a friend and bounce ideas off one another.
Don’t get lost!
This was just the first step in finding myself again. It started with something simple, something I wanted to do. I will share more on this topic as I explore myself and what’s important to me throughout the year! For now, I’m excited to see where this takes each of you! This is a community of women learning from one another so share your tips and tricks below!
Thanks for the continued support!
Together, we rise!
